When Leveling Up Goes Wrong
Ladies, I wanna talk about leveling up goes wrong. So when I was younger, before I knew what leveling up was, I thought I was just a person of my circumstances, and it was up to me to change my life, change my state of existence. That was just natural for me. So I always experimented with trying to get myself into certain situations. I was an opportunist, so to speak. Not from a bad point, cause I only learned about the word opportunist later on in school, and what it was in the negative connotations, but it’s not a bad thing. I’m not anymore. I create my own opportunities.
I was about 16 when I really started to get it. When I say get it, that means go after it. I left school, graduated early, went to a couple of Job Corps and all this other stuff, trying to get out there. Whatever I needed to do to have a stable future, that’s what I was looking for. I wasn’t dating or anything. I always stayed away from boys. I wasn’t really fast, but I had crushes like everybody else did.
So I was young and I was working. I bought my first car on my own. My mom bought my first car, but this one, I bought it on my own, and you couldn’t tell me nothing. One day at work, the car stopped working, and I was stuck. I don’t like being stuck, and maybe that traumatized me a little bit, because I thought I had it together.
And I didn’t grow up in the richest household. It’s not that we had a little, it’s just that we were not the typical household. My whole family, we never wanted what other kids had. We never begged my mom for stuff. If anything, we were the ones trying to make sure we can get her little gifts and stuff. Not saying we were perfect, I’m just saying we weren’t typical.
So fast forward to me being the fresh adult in my early 20s. I’m thinking to myself, well, I had everything together, but I don’t really like this working thing. And I don’t know what else to do, because I’ve never had another example. Okay? I never had another example. So I said, something else has got to happen. The first thing I got into officially was CNA work, certified nursing assistant. It was hard work, but it was okay. It was worth it, because of the charitable aspect of actually helping and assisting. But by this time, I had already started dating. And instead of just getting with people who like me, I started scoping out what I liked early.
I’m telling you guys this part because I just wanna show you how you might be naturally inclined to be a kept woman, or sugar baby, or a stay at home mom, whatever it is that requires you not to compete in the work field, period. That might be you too. Maybe you’re a person who’s like, you know what? I just want somebody to take care of me. Maybe you’re not that kind of person, but you wouldn’t mind it. It’s just that if you’re going to invite somebody else into your energy, they should do some sort of a display of how much they want to be in your sphere, in your space.
So anyway, fast forward, I finally scoped out this guy. He was tall, he was dark, and I loved it. It was ideal. He was way older than me, and I was like, this person is set up. They have already lived their life. I’m not gonna have to worry about any foolishness with other women, and even if I do, I’m not going to know about it, which is the most important part.
But there’s a catch. The catch is he didn’t have any money. I mean, it’s not that he didn’t have any money. Let me not say that. The catch is the living conditions. I didn’t have to worry about anything. Anything I wanted, I got. But I didn’t know the details entailed with living with someone.
Y’all gotta listen to her when she says he gotta have some money. Oh my goodness, y’all just don’t know how important it is. Because I had everything I wanted, right? Whatever I wanted, he got for me. But the living conditions were terrible. Not only were the living conditions terrible, the whole neighborhood was horrid, and I wasn’t raised like that. My mom, we didn’t have a lot of money on the surface, but as soon as she could get out of the poor areas, we were out, and we didn’t look back.
My point is, I bagged the guy. He would do whatever he could to get me whatever I want, except level up his lifestyle. And y’all have to understand that when you wake up in the morning and you look around, and you don’t like your situation, it does something to you on a psychological level. It didn’t matter what he did. I did not like the living conditions. I couldn’t even go outside and take a picture by the bush. It does get in the way.
And so, yes, I secured the guy who was willing to pay for everything, do what he can, but he wasn’t willing to level up himself. And that’s where leveling up goes wrong. Because you can even find someone who loves you, but then again, how much does he love you? Who knows? I’m not gonna question it, because some men don’t even know better. As a man, you yourself have to level up to get that girl. And if he doesn’t know that, he’s not gonna do it, because we don’t do what we don’t know.